You may have thought of it, how to let go of anger or how to forgive someone. It is surprising that even today, not everyone has learned how to forgive someone and move forward. Not only that, people are finding many difficult questions in forgiveness like how to forgive someone you love. How to forgive someone you hate? How does one learn to forgive? And many more similar questions.
Anger is a very dangerous poison. Not only to the people around you but also to yourself. It may cause you to lash out at people, ruin your concentration, and make living a lot much harder. It is not advisable to suppress anger, as emotions are normal, however, it is more important to move forward. Moving forward closes the painful doors of the past and opens new doors to a better tomorrow.
Here, we’ll give you some actionable tips on how to forgive someone you hate, and on how to let go of anger. Though the two are interconnected, they require their own unique ways to be handled.
How to Forgive Someone?
Forgiveness is often defined as the intention and deliberate choice to release anger or the need for vengeance against someone who has hurt you. Learning to forgive will allow you to sustain a healthy life and keep on moving forward.
Keep in mind a couple of things on how to forgive:
- Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. Just because you forgive someone does not mean you have to open your relationship to them. In fact, you can forgive and still refuse to see each other.
- Forgiveness does not mean seeing the person who hurt you in a positive light, nor does it mean excusing their wrongdoings.
- Forgiveness is a choice. Pain and resentment do not go away on their own – and you can’t feel when to forgive. To forgive requires strength of will.
- You do not have to forgive someone immediately. Sometimes it is important to distance yourself and take some time off.
Today, many people ask this question today: how do you forgive? It is the result of positive thinking to live a healthy life.
Here are some actionable tips on forgiving:
- One may ask, how to forgive someone you love? Forgiving someone you love does not mean remembering only the parts you love about a person. Rather, it’s accepting the person for their entirety. Do not excuse them for mistakes. Make them learn and tell them what they did hurt you (and possibly how deeply it did). Telling them should be done out of love.
- One of the important steps is choosing to move on. If you obsess over the pain, you will never move on and you will be stuck in a painful cycle. To forgive means to let the pain go away gradually until it goes permanently.
- Although other people may have been responsible for your pain, you must take responsibility for your own well-being. Forgiveness is not the responsibility of others. Rather, it is yours to deal with.
However, you can do so with the aid of guidance from others. For example, the guidance from psychologists during therapy sessions. Guidance from external factors can only work if you are determined to achieve positive results.
- Choose to be kind, every time. Whether it is someone you love who hurt you or someone you hate, you must choose to be kind. By living a life of kindness, forgiveness will come much more naturally to you.
How to Let Go of Anger?
Whether it’s a long-term resentment, or anger that was recently kindled – anger can escalate to dangerous levels. It is important to let go of your anger before your anger takes over. Here are some things to keep in mind about anger, and the possible ways to let go of it:
- If the anger is sparked by something immediate – whether traffic, a line, or an annoying coworker – simply take deep breaths. Take deep breaths – making sure to take it nice and slow. If you can, do this in a quiet spot to help yourself better
- Letting go of anger does not mean you should lash out at someone. However, you may still try and vent to your friends – speaking about your frustrations can absolutely help. Explaining your anger to someone else may help you find clarity – and make letting go of anger much easier.
- One way how to let go of anger is through humor. Turning a bad situation into a joke can make defuse not only you but the tension around everyone else.
- Remember that anger is a very strong emotion – and can change how you see the world. So when you are feeling angry, ask yourself this question, am I seeing the truth, or am I seeing what my anger sees? By being constantly mindful of your anger, you can control yourself better.
- Not all anger is bad. Anger against injustices, oppression, and similar things is well-needed. Anger can be a good motivator and can be useful when used properly. If your anger however is directed towards revenge – then it is dangerous. Be mindful of the type of anger you feel.
- If you feel you cannot control your anger anymore, try to find a way to change your surroundings. By doing this, you are less likely to lose control of yourself. If you are able to do this in a closed setting, there are spaces that you can try. For example, you can head to the restroom to splash water on your face just to feel better.
Yoga & Meditation for Learning to Forgive
One of the oldest approaches and practices for finding peace would be through yoga and meditation. Meditation and yoga have been around for thousands of years – and have spread amongst many cultures worldwide. It has been the main way of finding peace and strengthening the mind in many cultures.
By practicing yoga and meditation, you will receive many benefits. From improved flexibility and ease of pain to better energy and mood – yoga and meditation are the healthiest habits you can practice right now!
Yoga and meditation will be the key to letting go of anger, as well as learning to forgive. Because of the pandemic, it may be difficult to go to any nearby yoga clubs. Thankfully, everyone can begin practicing yoga and meditation at home through the internet!
10 Tips on Letting Go of Anger
In learning how to forgive someone you hate, you will need to follow some helpful tips. See them below.
1. Identify your source of anger
Anger is difficult to let go of when you are not sure where your anger is coming from. Taking the time to reflect and ask yourself this question “What is making me angry?” will be the first step in freeing yourself from anger. Is it the morning traffic? Is it some unresolved conflict you have with a friend or spouse?
2. Get some regular exercise
Getting some regular exercise or any physically strenuous activity is very helpful when letting go of anger. It keeps your mind occupied, and apart from this getting regular exercise has also been said to improve mental health (Alexandratos et al. 2012).
3. Write your anger on paper
One excellent method to know in learning how to let go of anger would be writing your thoughts down on a piece of paper or your notepad. It can help you understand your frustrations better. Furthermore, by writing it down, you will be freeing the anger from your mind and putting it onto paper. Studies have shown that writing down your emotions can help significantly help in lowering frustrations and stress (Suhr et al. 2017).
4. Avoid your source of anger (for a while)
People think that dealing with the source of anger immediately is the way to go. However, people sometimes fail in this approach. So, how do you forgive by avoiding the source for a while? Do you want to learn how to forgive someone you love? Simply, take some well-calculated time away from them. If it is your lover or spouse, then the time would definitely have to be very short.
5. Acknowledge your anger
Anger is difficult and impossible to resolve if you constantly pretend that it is not there. By accepting that you are angry, you have taken the first step to resolving it. By denying that you are angry, it will last much longer than it should – and you will be prone to terrible outbursts.
6. Take responsibility for your anger
Sometimes, you may be one of the factors that are responsible for the negative emotion. You have to be sure that you are not doing anything to make things worse or prolong matters. Search inward.
Anger is difficult to let go of when you are not sure where your anger comes from. Taking the time to reflect and ask yourself “What is making me angry?” will be the first step in freeing yourself from anger. Is it the morning traffic? Is it some unresolved conflict you have with a friend or spouse?
7. Practice Mindfulness
Being aware of your anger and choosing to focus on the moment will help you let go of your anger. By choosing to focus on the moment, you are learning to remove the power of anger in your life. There are many ways to practice mindfulness, whether through meditation or even yoga.
8. Practice Gratitude
You can uplift your mood and forget to help let go of anger by practicing gratitude. Take some time each day to count each blessing and be thankful for each of them. By remembering the blessings you have, you will realize how small and trivial your anger is. As a result, anger becomes easier to let go of.
9. Look for solutions
One of the best ways to resolve anger is to deal with the problem that caused it in the first place. When you have settled and are in better control of your anger, the next step is to find solutions to it. Is there something you can do now to help mend the problem? Is there some way I can help myself so the anger does not happen again? It is good to change and take control of what you can to help you let go of anger.
10. Practice Forgiveness
Ultimately, the key to letting go of anger completely is through forgiveness. By choosing to forgive the person who hurt you, you will be able to free yourself from anger. It may be hard in the beginning, but forgiveness is like a muscle – the more you practice the easier it becomes.
What emotion is behind anger?
Anger is a response to stress. To be more specific, anger is a common response to pain – especially when one feels lost or threatened. One can be angry because of something bad done to them, or someone can feel anger towards injustices done to others.
How to forgive someone you hate?
Hate is a normal emotion, especially when you feel betrayed by someone. Forgiving someone who is hurtful to you, who has done you wrong, insults you, or treats you unjustly is hard. We tend to feel vengeful because we feel the wronged party has not been punished for the wrongdoing and because we too have been wronged we want them to suffer for what they have done.
This is understandable but it is not the way to go. It’s better if you learn how to forgive someone who has hurt you and made you an angry person so you can move on. There are many ways to soften your heart and forgive someone who has done you wrong.
- Stop focusing on the wrongdoings of the person.
- Make the person you hate restore his sincerity.
- If possible, ask for forgiveness so that the person understands that it is you who is the strongest.
- The person may not apologize or admit to wrongdoing, which is normal if he has a superiority complex. This can be a very important step in your personal development.
- If you cannot ask the person out and restore his sincerity, the only way to let go of hate is, to be honest with yourself about the situation, understand why you feel that way, and try to get rid of the irritation caused by the negative feeling.
Can you truly forgive someone?
Everyone can be forgiven, however, not everyone can be reconciled. A victim can forgive someone who has hurt them but does not need to reconcile or open a relationship with the person. Forgiveness has to occur so people can move on with their own lives.
How do I let go of unresolved anger?
If you are sure of the anger’s source, or if it has been with you for a long time, one of the best ways is to go get professional help. Therapists can teach one how to let go of anger, as well as teach you how to forgive just so you can move forward with your life.
Is yoga a form of meditation?
Yoga refers to a set of physical, mental, and spiritual practices. Yoga is not a form of meditation, but rather meditation is a part of yoga!
What is the benefit of Yoga and meditation?
Yoga alongside meditation has various benefits for its practitioners. For one, yoga can help ease body pain, and also lead to better moods and energy. With this inner peace, yoga can also allow you to forgive and let go of anger much easier!
I hope you all choose to become more forgiving and kinder people. Make a fresh start – and so choose to let go of past pain and instead make a new life. Rather than open new wounds, choose to nurture kindness and better relationships. By practicing forgiveness and kindness – we can create a much more peaceful world.
Alexandratos, Kristy, et al. “The Impact of Exercise on the Mental Health and Quality of Life of People with Severe Mental Illness: A Critical Review.” British Journal of Occupational Therapy, vol. 75, Feb. 2012, pp. 48–60, doi:10.4276/030802212X13286281650956. Dyer, Wayne. “How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You: In 15 Steps”. Wayne’s Blog. Available from: https://www.drwaynedyer.com/blog/how-to-forgive-someone-in-15-steps/ John Hopkins Medicine. “9 benefits of Yoga”. Available from: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/9-benefits-of-yoga Suhr, M., et al. “Maintaining Mental Health Through Positive Writing: Effects of a Resource Diary on Depression and Emotion Regulation: Resource Diary Stabilizing Mental Health.” Journal of Clinical Psychology, vol. 73, Feb. 2017, doi:10.1002/jclp.22463.